How to be an internet celebrity - Part I

I know I've chronicled my lows on Facebook before but shit has really hit the fan lately.  Between Facebook and a discussion board that I will not name because I don't want to give them anymore random page views - I've experienced an all new sort of creepy this week.

NEWSFLASH: I have fake boobs!

Not me.

I've said this before on the blog, in case you missed it, but on Facebook and the site which isn't to be named, my boobs are an intense discussion topic.  I guess I don't really get it because a lot of my friends have fake boobs.  In fact, someone once asked me if all the girls from my alma mater have fake boobs since everyone they've met from there has them.  Why the obsession with mine, creepy people I don't know?

I can't imagine what it's like to be a celebrity - bless Lindsey Lohan's heart because I've only received in the past week 1/100000000th of the attention she gets in an hour.  What has me so distressed fellow readers?  I'll share with you a back and forth facebook message exchange that is currently in the works.

Golf Statsman July 19 at 2:08pm Report
Sorry to bother--and i'm not sure if this will warrant a response. But how long ago did you get your tattas?

Me July 19 at 2:24pm
Who the fuck are you? Seriously, it's fucking creepy to ask questions like this. You're right. Shit like this doesn't warrant a response. Please leave me alone.


Golf Statsman July 19 at 3:14pm Report
I'm gold statsman, statsman extraordinaire.
I didn't mean to upset you or come across as creepy; i was just asking a question. Is it really that creepy to ask that? I figured someone who would purchase something for attention wouldn't mind explaining when she got them. I promise to leave you alone.
At least I know the truth now.


Me July 19 at 3:17pm
Truth? You asked when I got them. I didn't answer. For all you know - these could be my real boobs. If I did purchase them, it wasn't for attention and it sure as hell wasn't so creeps like you could ask me when I got them. Why do you even care? You don't know me. Is this what you do in your free time? Ask random girls when they got their "tattas." Go ask any random person on the street if that is creepy and I'm pretty sure they all will agree with me.


Golf Statsman July 19 at 3:54pm Report
So I asked someone, and they said that if you have a previous relationship with someone that it isn't creepy to ask; however, if you don't know the person--and they aren't "super obvious"--it can be a pretty creepy question.

Having said that, i guess it's still up in the air. Regardless, I do sincerely apologize for my comments which were in no way intended to be hurtful or make you upset. Truth be told, i'm sure you--as well as everyone else--loves them and is in either admiration or resentment of how good you look.


Me July 19 at 3:59pm
Dude, just stop. Regardless of what you or the idiot you asked thinks - shit like this is creepy. Whether girls have fake tits or not, I can assure you, they don't like being asked about them or being asked if they have them. Unless they are an attention whore. Since I'm not an attention whore, I hate shit like this and I'd rather people not do things like this even if it is out of admiration.


Golf Statsman July 19 at 4:18pm Report
Don't you think you like attention though?

Me July 19 at 4:22pm
Not really. Stop.

Golf Statsman July 19 at 4:59pm Report
I will stop. I was just going for some honesty here.


Golf Statsman July 21 at 3:14pm Report

http://www.paulkienitz.net/no-implants.html



48 reasons not to get a boob job. -


www.paulkienitz.net


reasons to avoid breast augmentation



Me July 21 at 3:29pm
He forgot a reason. #49 - Do not get a boob job because random assholes will send you creepy facebook messages about them. They will cowardly hide behind their fake facebook name and try to make you feel bad about yourself but don't let it get you down. You're the one with great tits and that guy is the one that is obsessed with them to the point that he's sent you 6 weird facebook messages and he doesn't even know you. He probably has sex with corpses as well.



Golf Statsman July 21 at 3:35pm Report
Necrophilia is no joke.

Me July 21 at 3:37pm
I'm sure you know all about it. Fuck you and leave me alone. Seriously. I've reported at least 5 people like you to facebook and if you love your fake account enough you'll stop harassing me. Go outside. Go to a bar. Hit on girls the normal way.

I'm at work right now so I can't exactly elaborate on this post but I don't really think I have to. So am I alone here? Anyone else get shit like this? I'll post more tomorrow or tonight on how I became an discussion topic on a football discussion board, all because of Facebook pictures.